I Have a Lot to Say About Womanhood and Apparently So Do You.
- Jade Forder
- 2 hours ago
- 4 min read
A funny thing has happened lately.
I've started talking.
And now I can't seem to shut up.
For years, I've talked while I teach. Anyone who has sat around my art table knows this. We might start with paint, collage or an art journal, but somehow we end up with a lot to say about womanhood, motherhood, ageing, relationships, work, expectations, guilt, people pleasing, creativity, confidence and all the strange rules women seem to collect along the way.
Rules about what a good mother does.
What a successful woman looks like.
How productive we should be.
How much space we're allowed to take up.
Whether we're too old to start something new.
Whether something is worth doing if we're not particularly good at it.
Whether spending time, money or energy on ourselves needs to be justified.
And my personal favourite:
Who made that rule?
The conversations around the art table
I've realised recently that one of the most important parts of my classes isn't actually what we're making.
It's what happens while we're making it.
There is something about having your hands occupied with paint, pencils, collage or glue that seems to loosen everything else.
Nobody has to sit in a circle and announce their feelings.
We're just making art.
And then somebody says something.
Another woman says, "YES! Me too."
Someone else laughs because she thought she was the only one.
And suddenly we're talking about something women have quietly been carrying around for years.
Those conversations have always been part of Creative Abyss.
But recently I've started taking them outside the studio.
Apparently, Show Up and Speak worked a little too well
I recently did Tash Corbin's Show Up and Speak workshop, and something clicked.
I realised I had been hiding behind my art a little.
I was happy to show you what I made.
I was happy to show you what happened in my classes.
But I wasn't always talking about the ideas underneath them.
And there are so many ideas underneath them.
Once I started speaking about those things on social media, something unexpected happened.
Women responded.
They commented.
They messaged me.
They stopped me in person.
They told me they had been thinking about what I'd said.
And I realised these weren't just conversations happening around my art table.
Women everywhere are asking some of the same questions.
Is this actually what I want?
Or is this just what I've been taught to want?
Do I still believe this?
Am I allowed to change my mind?
What would happen if I stopped trying to be who everybody else expects me to be?
That last question fascinates me.
Creativity gives us somewhere to experiment
This is one of the reasons I believe creativity matters so much, particularly for women.
Making art gives us a tiny, relatively safe place to practise doing things differently.
You can choose the colour you're "not supposed" to use.
Rip something up.
Paint over it.
Change your mind.
Make something ugly.
Cut apart something you just spent an hour creating.
Follow an idea without knowing where it's going.
Take up the whole bloody page.
And nobody dies.
The world does not collapse because you ignored the rules.
In fact, sometimes something far more interesting appears.
I think that's why art journalling has become so important to me personally.
My journals aren't filled with perfect little pages designed for Instagram.
They're places where I work things out.
Sometimes I begin with an idea.
Sometimes I begin with a feeling.
Sometimes I don't know what I'm trying to say until I've finished the page and look back at it.
Creativity gives me another language.
My paintings have been talking too
I've also started revisiting some of my artworks and talking about the stories behind them because I don't actually create art to match your couch.
There are easier ways to decorate a wall.
My work has always been connected to the things I'm thinking about, experiencing, questioning or trying to understand.
Womanhood.
Motherhood.
Identity.
Nature.
Strength.
Vulnerability.
Imperfection.
Rest.
Rebellion.
The expectations we inherit and the ones we eventually decide to throw back.
Sometimes those ideas become paintings.
Sometimes they become journal pages.
Sometimes they become classes.
And lately, apparently, they become me talking to my phone for several minutes and hoping Instagram doesn't cut me off.
I've recorded 19 reels and have started sharing some of these stories and pages, which may be evidence that somebody should have put a limit on this newfound enthusiasm.
But I'm not sure I want to.
Because I'm discovering that the more I talk about these things, the more women join the conversation.
Maybe we're not meant to have it all figured out
I think there comes a point in many women's lives when we start looking at all the things we've been told we should want, do and be and think:
Hang on. Who decided this?
Maybe you love parts of the life you've built.
Maybe there are other parts that don't fit anymore.
Maybe you've changed.
Maybe you're still changing.
Maybe you're beginning to realise that becoming more yourself doesn't necessarily mean reinventing your entire life.
Sometimes it starts much smaller.
Choosing what you like.
Making something purely because you want to.
Saying no without writing a three-paragraph explanation.
Trying something you're terrible at.
Questioning an old belief.
Wearing the thing.
Taking the class.
Resting before you've earned it.
Picking up a paintbrush and discovering what happens when nobody else gets a vote.
So I'm going to keep talking
And I hope you'll keep talking with me.
Creative Abyss has never really been about teaching women how to make pretty pictures.
Yes, I'll teach you techniques.
Yes, you'll learn how to use the materials.
And yes, you'll probably go home with something you've made.
But underneath all of that is something much more interesting.
Creativity gives us permission to explore who we are.
Not who we were told to be.
Not who we've needed to be for everybody else.
Not the polished, productive, agreeable version.
Just us.
Curious.
Imperfect.
Still changing.
Still discovering.
And perhaps a little less interested in following rules simply because they've always been there.
So if you've been watching my recent videos and thinking, She's talking about me...
Good.
There are plenty more where those came from.
Apparently I have 19 reels' worth already!
x
Jade
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